Walking the hound this morning, the air was crisp and cool, the stars were twinkling brightly in the predawn sky, they look so close on morning like this that you think you can just reach out and touch them. The hill is always so quiet of a morning. There's really nothing like living in small rural community such as mine. You know all your neighbors, you have family (in laws) close by, and in a world that has went totally haywire, in our little corner of the world we still feel safe. I don't think I would ever want to live anywhere else.
I write. I don't have any true blue talents, I don't decorate and I have no sense of decoration neither. I see people who just seem to "know" what goes where and what looks best here and there. Me, well I just can't do it. I cook. I know food. I know recipes, I can plan and throw a party but to decorate that party, forget it.
I don't envy people anything, or at least never have until I met Larry's family. Sad thing is they don't think it's anything special that they can paint, design, decorate, have the taste to just know what looks good where, to pick up any kind of crafty project and just do it. Larry's mother is an artist. Her work is amazing. His sisters are crafty, they decide for instance, they want to do a cross stitched sampler, they just do it. Not me, it would take ages to just teach myself to cross stitch. His sister that lives here in our community has a house that's looks like it plucked from the pages of some magazine. Perfect. Everything in the right place and the right thing in the right space. Don't get me wrong, it's not over done, nor is it so perfect you aren't comfortable (we've all seen those kind of places), it's got a balance that few can achieve. She takes these old pieces of stuff that most would have tossed out and creates something that makes you want to go home and beat up your furniture so yours may look that way too.
Me, I would like for my home to be more decorative, but if it happens it won't be because of any thing I do. Those who like the looks of it I have to honestly say it's due to Larry's talented eye and not mine. But then Larry, like the rest of his family, just has that nack too.
My daughter has that talent as well, she didn't get it after me. So if you wonder how I got on the topic of decorating today, it's because I look around and see I need a change in here. Have no clue where to start. So, truth be known, I will probably just leave it be for fear I screw it up big time.
I think for me, less is more. I have the habit of cluttering, not good clutter neither. I blame it on our house being so small, but I am not fooling myself with that at all. If nothing else I try to be honest with myself and I know I have no decorating skill and anything I set out to do looks either cluttered or empty. No good middle ground. I would call in reinforcement but sometimes you hate to admit you suck at something and then you hate to ask for help cause you just know they think you're totally hopeless. Oh well, we all have our burdens to bare.
House work. I hate it. I admire the ladies that keep a perfect house. I live with a slob, (I love him dearly, but the truth is the truth). Where ever he takes his pants off..that's where they lay. My heart drops when he starts talking about taking up cooking. The mess he makes when just trying to do french toast makes me cringe. I do not ever encourage him to cook. My kitchen is just off limits. But I can't call him names without calling myself names as well. I tell myself (I try to fib to myself occasionally, to no avail), that if I have more closet space, etc that I would do better when it comes to putting clothes up. I don't truly know if I would or not, I like to think I would but I have my doubts. So I am a clothes slob.
My house is clean but it's far from spotless. My wonderful Teaberry (spoiled basset hound) makes sure it would never be spotless. That dog sheds so much he ought to be bald. I can sweep three times a day and get dog hair. Yuck. Yet for all the aggravation of the dog hair I wouldn't take anything for my hound. He is my baby.
I think there just comes a time in our life when we just have to say, ok I can do this and this but I know I can't do that. For whatever reason I have this attention thing... the only thing I truly enjoy doing is writing, playing music, cooking and planning to do crafts. I'm 52 years old and can honestly say I just have never found my one thing. You know, that one thing that just is your talent. I don't have a clue why I get bored with things before they become completed. Are any of you ever like that? How many of you have three afghans started, four quilts, nine pillows, two books, one scrape book, three hats, and a couple scarfs all started and in many stages away for completion. It's always been that way with me.
So with that I guess I will give myself a pep talk, I have a big old out building that needs organized and cleaned up. I need to pick out the things that need to go and the things that need to stay. Make room to store some of the outside stuff before bad weather sets in.
Sunday Larry and I are going to go look at something we're been wanting for a long time. It's kind of scary and exciting too to realize that our dream is going to actually be a reality in the very near future. I don't know who is more excited, him or me.
I am not sure many, if any will actually ever read my blogs, but I do believe I am going to enjoy posting them. Writing...the one passion I have had from a very young age. This gives me the opportunity to just that. Once again I have no clue where it will go but going to have fun with it. I never want to offend anyone with my blogs and hope those who read them realize that I am writing about my feelings, not yours. I have no intention of writing things to be hurtful or to be taken the wrong way. If I write about things that have touched me, be it good or bad, I hope no one ever assumes I am writing about any certain thing unless I specifically mention it by name or deed, then it is random feeling. I know in my first blog I had a person to guess who I meant when I said they hurt me, I thought they were my BFF and ended up they weren't, that they proved to me that I once again trusted when I should have known better. When I moved to this area I had only Larry's family and few new friends I made since meeting Larry. I was so happy to think that I also had someone from my family that truly wanted to be a part of my life. We become fast friends and I thought it went beyond being family. I though for sure we were BFF's and considering all that was going on at that time, I welcome the friendship and went out of my way, to be there for her. When I learned later that she gathered up with all the others and not only allowed them to talk about me, but joined in on the gossip session, I was so hurt. But thankfully I am a stronger person than I use to be, learned years ago to distrust those you thought you meant something too. So to my sweet little cousin who asked me if I was meaning her Mamaw I had to be honest and say yes. Although I still won't mention names. I am thankful that I can be concerned about my family from afar. I am thankful that a new life was provided for me, along with a new family, (in-laws).
But when it's all said and done at the end of everyday, we have the person that is laying there beside us. That is my family. That is the one person who will never let me down and will stand beside me as I will him. He will never allow anyone or anything to hurt me. He won't fight my battles for me but he will give me reinforcement if I ever need it. It takes a person a little while to understand that your needs are very little and normally all you ever need is standing right in front of you.
Now, on a different note, I have been thinking about this blogging. I am a little excited about it, yes, because I get to do lots of writing but because I decide where I hope it goes... I am so hoping it might turn into a advise type blog. On all kinds of topics. I figure if I don't have an opinion on it I can find someone who does. I'll continue with "Just another day" as well... like I said, no one may ever read it but doesn't matter as long as I am enjoying writing it. Have a good morning and blessed day!
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